Well I don't even know where to begin... Welcome to my blog... it's pretty bare so far, but here is the first or (hopefully) many posts!
I think what I want to focus on in this post is why I am doing this year of service. I did not have an answer to that question when I applied for service organizations. I did not have an answer when I began the year. I still don't have a clear answer. For one thing, I knew I felt called to do it. I have been so blessed so I felt like I should give back, and this was a great opportunity to do so. But lately I have been having a lot of questions. Why couldn't I have just worked as a normal nurse and then done service on the side? What am I really trying to learn or accomplish in this year? What lesson about simple living should I be trying to glean from this experience.
At the end of this year I will probably be able to get a really good job (thank you CUA!) and live a super comfortable life (pretty quickly). So what am I trying to learn from this year that I can take with me? It has been interesting. I expected to come across some of those volunteers who hold the mentality that having money is a 'bad' thing. Like if you have money, boo on you. You are selfish and don't care about others. Or I at least expected to find people who made judgmental comments about the wealthy. I haven't come across that thus far. The Vincentians have a good partnership with the wealthy. They realize that we need giving/loving people who have funds in order to perform the services we give to the poor.
Then I got to thinking about the people who are what I like to call the the "giving-wealthy." So I don't have a lot of money to give right now. But I do have my nursing skills. So I choose to donate that to the poor. That's kind of easy because nursing skills are, by nature, healing and giving. People who have money can easily get attached to their money. It is easy to start to get attached to material things. Even Jesus says that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. I am pretty sure he was talking of the "selfish-wealthy." The giving-wealthy, especially those who are of a Christian background, have detachment from their money and give away what they could use to gain more. So I am actually amazed by these giving people, and a little in awe. Gaining that detachment is SO HARD! I know I am attached to my things/stuff. My computer and guitar were stolen last Thursday and it was a real blow. I can't listen to my music, look at my pictures etc. It was a big deal. I tried not to let it get to me, but it has been a hassle.
So I think what I am trying to get at (after all that rambling. Sorry, I'm an extrovert... even via blog!) is that I hope that practicing living a year of not having will prepare me to live with what I need so that I can maintain a certain detachment from things, so that I can give what I can to the poor/the Church.
Realizing this has been a pretty big burden off my mind. I know I will probably realize other reasons why I did this year as I go through it, but I think this gives me a good starting point, a good ending point for the year, and a good lesson for the rest of my life. I am not gonna lie, it's not easy living simply. There are days when I just want some veggies from my mother's garden and a starbucks run, not canned black beans and stir fry vegetables, or mac & cheese. But I think I am learning that I have while others have not, and that I need to be conscious of wasting/being a steward of creation.
Ok I am tired of talking about that. On a lighter note, I AM GOING TO HOUSTON IN 5 DAYS!!! I cannot wait to see Katie! I don't even care if we just sit and stare at each other, I will be happy. I miss her so much! I am also getting rather homesick as of late. LA is cool and all that, but the area in which you live doesn't make your happiness. Having family and friends around you can make even the dullest surroundings exciting! Speaking of making your own fun, last night we had a murder mystery dinner at our house. We had 19 people. My housemate Anna wrote the plot and the characters. We all dressed up in 60's outfits and tried to figure out who the murderer was while having a splendid dinner. It was so much fun! Anna is a literary genius! The plot was so good and there were so many twists! Trisha, my other housemate, is totally into costumes and helped us get ready. It was a BLAST! Today I watched the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice with my house while drinking tea and eating muffins. It was so great! It was just the relaxing day I needed.
Tomorrow, Wednesday & Thursday I am back to work with moms and babies. Tuesday I am helping at Our Mother of Sorrows (Anna and Bassam, my housemates, volunteer there). So I am excited to get to work with school aged children:) Friday I leave for Houston! Then I come back Tuesday! It is gonna be a good week. It is strange that the 12 hour days seem so loooong, but the weeks seem to fly by. I cannot believe that it is October already!
I will be praying for everyone this week. Please pray for my safe travels this weekend!
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